Saturday 30 April 2011

Smoking, Never Quit Giving Up

I quit smoking, yes again.

Jesus fuck me Christ, I hear you all say. Enough!

Yep, is my answer. I shrug.

What is it they say, never quit giving up.


Friday 29 April 2011

Tuesday 19 April 2011

Bugger It!

I started smoking again. Just at night so far, he says nervously. I get by in the day. Having something in my mouth, maybe that's it, taking that physical ache away. 

That gnawing pain. Fuck it, hey. Give me a fag, take that away.


Sunday 17 April 2011

I Smoked Pot

My house mate had pot, what can I say?

I whacked off good to porn afterwards, it's good for that. Straight boy porn, doing it with a guy for the first time, I love it. It is my favourite porn to watch. That angst. The reticence. That giving in. That getting into it. That enjoyment. Yum, yum.

Saturday 16 April 2011

I Stopped Smoking

I stopped smoking, again. It is better to stop again, and again, and again, than to not.Yay!

Tuesday 12 April 2011

Not a lot of ugly... left

Belinda is getting thinner and thinner and, I have to say, uglier and uglier. It is quite sad, really, she is still wearing the same clothes she used to wear before the apparent anorexia took hold, which only accentuates the problem. Rather than the temperamental, up and down, bitch boss, if she loses any more weight, we will have to call her the stick figure cadaver.

I wish she'd just... oh, I don't know what? You know, get it over and done with, eat even less... book into a facility, leave the company, go on a long holiday, just go away, she is a nightmare, haunting the staff. You weren't that nice when you were athletic and healthy, you certainly aren't any nicer now.  


Try harder, please, perhaps I should tell her she is fat. (chuckle)


I guess that's wrong? But, you know, in this fast-paced, non-stop world, it is so hard to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong now a days, don't you find? There is so much going on, it just spins your head, don't you find. Throw in political correctness and you don't know what you are allowed to think any more, let alone say.

I guess, I shouldn't say stuff like that - people will believe me. Not funny? Not funny.

I wish Belinda would evaporate, quite frankly, the last image of her face resembling Munch's Scream, before she is gone. Poof! How she choses to do it is up to her, really, a rope over a beam, a jump into a stream, scones, jam and cream. Who cares? Nobody will care? Her family barely care about her, from what I hear. Obviously, nobody cares now. Stupid cow. Just stop haunting our office space, making our lives a misery. It is really hard to enjoy work when you have an unpredictable, unpleasant, bully standing over you. Get therapy so the rest of us can get on and be happy.

Sunday 10 April 2011

Friday 8 April 2011

Smoking - I Don't Seem To Make it Stick.

This smoking thing, I just don't seem to get on top of it, it just seems to be my weakness.

Bloody hell! Bloody hell!

I can quit, but I just don't seem to be able to make it stick.


Monday 4 April 2011

She'll Be Scaring Small Children Soon

Belinda looks terrible, but what anorexic doesn't. She looks like a cadaver walking.

She'll be scaring small children soon.

Fuck, she scares me. Although, that may have more to do with the fact of having a mental defective in charge of me than how sad and ugly she truly has become.

I wonder if she enjoys being the office bitch? She seems like she does, the way she weilds her power. 


"No minion dare speak back to me, as I will bring them down with my anorexic death stare."

Leave them standing at the door, they'll wait some and then they'll wait some more. She's the boss, it gives her power. Sad really, when you think about it.

When she left me standing there at her office door, over an extended period of time, I'm sure just so it made her feel like she had a big, gorgeous cunt, when she looked up, I just wanted to look her in the eye and ask, Belinda, do you think anorexia is someone hating themselves, or do you think it is the only way that person knows how to gain control over their lives?

Of course, I should be feeling sorry for her, but she was always a bitch, even before she got sick. It, actually, didn't take illness to make her an awful person, she always was unpleasant.

Friday 1 April 2011

Sad Belinda, Bitch Belinda, Let's See Her Dead in a Ditch, Belinda

Poor sad Belinda, never quite measured up, never quite obtained the happiness that her family and friends seemed to achieve. She never seemed to be able to control her destiny, never quite making it, never quite getting on top of this thing other people gloriously call their fulfilling lives.

She worked hard at her job, and worked hard on her body, and worked hard on her mind, but none of it ever satisfied her.

The harder she worked, the uglier she got.

The harder she worked, the uglier the world seemed to be.

The harder she worked, the sadder poor, old, sad Belinda became.

The harder she worked, the more everyone around her came to hate her. (she was a bitch, after all)

She achieved a lot, but the more she achieved the more none of it ever satisfied her.

No matter how much she grabbed at it, life just seemed to remain out of her control.

No matter how far you run, Belinda, or how high you jump, for that matter, you'll always find yourself there... with one sibling that hates you.