The Older Woman

“Don't say what, Julio, say pardon,” Bridget said.

I laughed. It seemed like the most preposterous thing to say.

Bridget and Julio both looked at me surprised. Startled, almost.

I looked at Garth.

He looked back at the Bridget and Julio.

Garth took me by the arm and lead me out of the room.

"I realised that, although my mother is the most impossible woman in the world, Julio loves her. He really loves her."

I didn't say anything. I thought the thirty year age difference spoke for itself.

Garth didn’t say anything about that.

“How do you think…”

“Don’t even go there,” said Garth.

“But, do you think…”

“I said don’t go there,” said Garth.

“Don’t you…”

“No, I don’t, she is my mother.”

“You don’t?”

“No.”

Garth pulled a packet of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. He selected on from the packet, sliding it between his lips. He offered one to me and I took it. He lit his and then he lit mine. We both took long drags.

“Bridget is impossible,” I said.

“She is still my mother.”

“You know she is impossible.”

“Yeah, sure I know she is impossible. She has always been impossible.”

“How do you think Julio puts up with it?”

“Poor bastard walked into it with his eyes open, what can I say?”

“Doesn’t mean he should be treated like shit.”

“He keeps Bridget company, which means I don’t have to.”

“Why? Why does he do it?”

“I suspect he thinks she has money.”

“She has got money.”

“Yeah, she has, but it’s tied up in trusts by dad…”

“Your father?”

“Yeah, even now he keeps a tight rein on all the money.”

“Even now?”

“Bridget is many things, but she is not stupid.”

“She trusts your father?”

Garth looked at me like I was nuts.” Always! So, Julio will never get his hands on it, no matter what she has told him.”

“Criss cross,” I said.

“Yeah, criss cross,” said Garth. He laughed.

“Who do you think it worst Bridget, for lying…”

“I don’t think she is lying, other than through omission.”

“Or you for not telling him.”

“Why do I need to tell him,” said Garth. “That is against my better interests.”

“Against your better interests.”

“It suits me fine for Julio to be where he is.”

“Whether he knows that it’s a dead end.”

“Whether he knows shit.”

Poor bastard was all I could think. Bridget was a ball breaker, she always had been.

“Do you think he’s…”

“Jesus!” said Garth.

“Is he younger than you?”

“I don’t know how old he is.”

“I think he is younger than you.”

“I don’t really care, as long as he keeps Bridget muzzled, you understand.”

“He should get danger money.”

“The funny thing is, he thinks he’s running the show.”

“She’ll kill him.”

“Probably.”

I don’t know who laughed the loudest.

We both stubbed out our cigarettes in a plant sitting next to us.

“If her track record is anything to go by,” said Garth.

“Bridget is a monster,” I said. “Shouldn’t you tell him.”

“Poor Julio.”

“Poor Julio.”

We both laughed again.

“She sounds like she’s gonna improve his manners, so there’s a thing,” I said.

“So, he is going to get something out of this, after all,” said Garth.

“He’ll know to say pardon.”

“Rather than what.”

“He’ll know not to put his elbows on the table.”

“You can’t pay for that sort of education.”

“Should we call him Eliza?”

“Well… he… do… little.”

“Lucky Julio.”

“Lucky Julio.”

“And he’ll crawl back to whatever swamp he came from with…”

“A-ah, like all good wolf spiders she’ll eat her young…’

“Before he can escape…”

The door burst open. Bridget appeared from the other side. 

“What are you two doing?” she demanded.

“Talking about you, mother,” said Garth.

“Oh, I don’t have time for whatever it is you two think is funny.”

“Oh Bridget, you’ve got to have a laugh sometime.”

“Dinner is served and we are waiting for you two to stop whatever girlie bitching you are doing out here and to return to the table.”

“Girlie bitching,” I repeated.

“I don’t know what shit you two go on with,” said Bridget.

“Shit?” repeats Garth. 

“Have you left Julio on his own at the table?” I ask.

“Yes,” said Bridget.

“Are you nervous he might crawl out of his high chair?” said Garth.

“Are you jealous of Julio?” asked Bridget.

“Oh mother, I have many feelings about Julio, but I can assure jealousy is not one of them.”

“I am beginning to wonder.” Bridget opened the door and disappeared back into the other room.

“After you,” said Garth.

“It’s now or never,” I said. I stepped past Garth and re-entered the dining room.

“Splendid,” said Bridget. She was sitting next to Julio. “Come and sit down my dears…”

“My dears,” Garth repeated with an incredulous tone. He glanced at me. I tried not to laugh.

We took our seats.

“Let’s have a toast. I have filled your glasses,” said Bridget.

We hold up our glasses which chink.”

“To a long and happy life for everyone I love,” said Bridget.

“Oh, mother, seriously, you are toasting yourself,” said Garth. Bridget glared at him.

“To my darling Bridget, to forever together,” said Julio.

Garth and I looked at each other.

“To all the wolf spiders in the world,” said Garth.

“May they eat their young,” I said.

“Oh, you two are too much,” said Bridget.

“I don’t understand?” said Julio.

“You will,” said Garth.

“Eat up,” said Bridget.

“Eat up,” Garth and I said in unison looking at Bridget. We looked at each other, then we looked back at Bridget. She glared back at the two of us.

We Were Just Two Lads Being Mates, Living Our Lives

I used to go watch Jason play footy for Glenroy. He looked hot in his shorts – nice bum, hairy legs, big bulge, muscular arms in his sleeveless jumper. He was just one of the lads as he hung with his mates… all slapping each other’s arses as they showered.

We all drank beer afterwards and the rest of them talked about girls, as I caught Jason's eye and he'd smile at me momentarily before he join in with the others.

He’d be all hey-ho macho and one of the boys, I used to love it. A tough northern kid.

Then he’d say quietly, Do you want to suck my cock? Then he’d blush. Straight boys (straightish) are hot when they blush.

Then I'd be sucking his big fat cock back in his room before his parents got home from where ever they were, most likely the market, or Jason's sisters place, wondering what his mates would have thought if they could have seen him spread legged.

He'd wipe his spoof off the lino on his bedroom floor with his jocks when we were done and say, "Come on, let's shower before the olds get back."

A couple of times his parents were home before we'd finished snogging in the shower. They never thought anything of it, it never crossed their minds. We were just two lads being mates, living our lives.

“Jango you coming to the footy Saturday?” That’s what he called me, I can’t remember why now. I just think he thought it was cute.

“Yeah, sure I am.”

“You coming to watch me play?”

“Yeah, you can count on it.”

“You coming to watch?”

“You kick some goals?”

“I see you in the crowd, you know.”

“Do ya?”

“Yeah, sure I do. Makes me smile.”

“I’ll be looking out for that smile.”

“Keep your eyes peeled.”

“That’s a dumb expression”

“What? Pulling back the skin on your eyes to see me better.” He pulled one fist down on the other. And then smiled.

“Sticking out like Chuppa Chups.”

“Right out of your head.”

“I’ve seen yours stick out like Chuppa Chups.”

Jason tousled my hair and laughed. “Shhh,” he said.

Something Lost

It's funny thinking about Jason. He was fiery and passionate and beautiful. A wog boy to be sure. We kind of had a special bond, kids from different sides of the tracks make good friendship. Day time movie premises. I bet they wouldn't show the hot fucking, skin on skin; we couldn't get enough of each other's genitals. We were always pulling each other's pants off.

He seemed so alive and his extended family seemed like a circus going on around him.

The funny bit is that I have his parent's phone number. It wouldn't be so unrealistic that they haven't moved, they'd lived in that house for years.

They loved me. They thought I was funny. They were all so earthy, in away. They called me Jason's boyfriend, even though I don't think they suspected. We were both kids in their eyes. I was different to them, so I was just Jason's buddy. School friend, that's how he passed us off. They'd give me Jason's phone number, most likely. They'd certainly pass mine on to him, I think.

What would happen, do you think?

I live on my own.

What if he'd never found love?

What if he was married, but had lost the love?

What if he was married... boys cheat, they all do. He'd come over to my place and fuck and feel no guilt. Guys don't feel guilt about that stuff. If it involves their cocks, they don't care about anything else. It would be different, that's all.

Keilor Park Drive

I was driving down the Calder, sun shining, my Honda purring and I saw the sign that said Keilor Park Drive. Even though it was a sign I’d seen often, driving back from our country place in Woodend, it was like something I didn't know. I had no information on that. It was somewhere I had never been and somewhere I kind of wondered that I would probably never go.

The closest I had was Jason from Glenroy. Not that that is the same place, of course, but in my mind. I laughed to myself, am I an inner suburb snob? I hadn't thought about Jason in ages.

I met him in the city, on one of those endless city visits that sixteen year olds seem to always do. Bourke Street. He had that look in his eyes, hungry, he held my gaze too long. I was attracted to it, and him, straight away. He seemed such a straight boy and kind of tough, I wondered if it was some weird game he was playing, you know where in the end he’d beat me up, but he kept looking and then he followed me to The Causeway.

I stood down The Causeway a bit pretending to window shop, or something like that.

He walked up next to me and said, "Do you know somewhere to go?" 

I felt nervous, but I knew I wasn't imagining it then. It was suddenly real, not a game anymore. No one was going to get beaten up.

“Yeah, sure,” I said. “Centrepoint. Do you know it?”

“Nah.”

I led him there. Up the escalators. Into the public dunny. The place was relatively empty, which I was pleased about, I thought this one might scare easily. There was a cubicle, I motioned with a flick of my head for him to follow me in, which he did.

He was hot and we did filthy things together in that bog. Jason and I met there a few times after that. The guys used to line the walls, when they felt safe, they used to look over the doors. There would be people looking through every crack, as I fucked Jason in the arse, sometimes they would speak, “Oh yeah, that’s the way,” but not often, usually it was a silent affair. 

They'd scatter as soon as someone new came through the door, to every corner, looking away. Then, when they saw the ‘new comer’ was one of us, it would start again. Someone would move into position. The new guy would step forward to look over at the guys in the cubicle, who were back at it first, prove your "stripes," prove you were one of us.

It was the first time I went home with someone, from Centrepoint. Rocco he was scared of getting caught in there.

“The cops come there, mate, I can’t afford for them to take my name and address.” 

It was a hell of a trip, to his place in Niddrie, so he could feel safe getting his big dick sucked, while his parents were at work. It could have been one of the first times I had left the safe confines of my own suburb and my mother's bosom. Ha ha. The safe confines of the CBD. In the holidays, it didn't matter how long it took when I was in the CBD. I’d say to mum, “I’m going into town to meet the guys.”

She thought I meant my friends. And for some reason, going to the CBD was perfectly acceptable.

Rocco said he had a girlfriend afterwards and kind of insisted, kind of unnecessarily, that I had to go. I didn’t want to stay. And I went. It took me hours to get to Rocco’s place and then back to the city, where it only took minutes with Rocco when we got to his place.

When I'd got my licence, I ventured out to Jason’s place, as one of the first things I did. As a horny eighteen year old, driving across town for a shag. It became apparent that there was a lot I didn't know, as I found my way through a multitude of suburbs that I never knew even existed. They seemed to be going for miles. I'd never seen these streets before. It was a foreign land. Thank the universe for the Melways or I would never have got laid.

I'd just left school. It was school holidays. Jason was really keen. It was the first time we did it in a bed, Jason’s bed. He was keen, not nervous at all. He really liked it in his arse. He was ready for it by the time I got there.

It was funny to think that there was a whole group of people who I would never mix with, never meet. The other side of town, so to speak. People I would never know. Strangers in my own city, who lived in Keilor Park Drive.

It was a saying my buddies and I used to say, if there was a place the whereabouts of which we didn’t know. We’d say, “It is somewhere past Keilor.”

Past Keilor, I thought, as the sign approached. I thought of Rocco and his big uncut todger he liked oral for, and I thought of Jason and his sweet arse and his need for anal. Two tough Northen Suburbs boys who liked to get it on with guys.

I thought of my mates, and how we’d all carol in unison when someone asked where Viewbank, or Greenvale, or Gladstone Park was, “It is somewhere past Keilor.” (I’m sure we must have picked that up from some adult, but I have no idea who)

And here I was, somewhere past Keilor. One day, I would turn off to Keilor Park Drive and I would drive along it. I would drive its entire length just because I could, just so I could say I had. But not today.

The Sun Shines - Girl Talk

The guys in town today all had their “boys” out. It was sunny and singlet tops were the order of the day. Guys with muscles, plump at the tops of their arms. Bulging in their chests, pecs, shoulders and backs. Smiles and tans.

And legs in shorts – hairy thighs, thick calves. Bulges you could grab, bulges that looked as though they wanted to be grabbed. Thick sausages stuffed into small expanses of cotton, like the delicatessen guy wrapping your bratwurst in too smaller pieces of white paper.

Shorts you can see their crack up the back of the stretched material pulled across their buns, deep enough to park the front tyre of your bike in, or yourself in, or you know...

The walk... don't you like to watch them walk... from behind, watching how their arse chew at the material from the inside. Hairy legs, calves and thighs, working the arse so beautifully.

You just got to love it when the sun shines.

Chloe pulled the cork from the Chardonay bottle and filled both hers and Gabbi’s glasses.

“I love it in summer when Liam gets into shorts and singlets, Gabbi,” said Chloe. “His big beefy thighs and his big beefy arse."

“Oh Chloe, I’m the same, Oliver and the sun and shorts, and I love summer and him looking so manly.”

“I look at Liam differently when there is more of him to look at.”

“Oh, Chloe, it’s terrible…”

“No, it’s not terrible.”

“He’s got one pair, kind of soccer shorts, I guess you’d call them, and I just have these thoughts.”

“It’s good we have husbands that we think that about,” said Chloe.

“Yes, of course, of course it is, but sometimes it can just catch me, you know, off guard.”

Chloe laughed.

“My sexy Oliver,” said Gabbi.

The girls laugh.

“This wine is good,” said Gabbi.

“Liam and I got it at that cellar door tasting a month, or so, ago.” 

Chloe topped their glasses up.

“Remember, when we were up the Gold Coast, that year…”

“Last year,” said Gabbi.

“Yes, last year,” said Chloe. “And Liam and Oliver came running up from the water together both in their black speedos.”

“I remember thinking to myself, they are ours, those two guys,” said Gabbi.

“In those little things,” said Chloe

“Little things?” asked Gabbi

“Those outfits, those outfits the boys wear.”

“Oh yes.”

“Sometimes I’m surprised they keep, um, Liam in.”

“Chloe.”

“I’m surprised they keep Oliver in just as much.”

“Chloe!”

“Well, they don’t leave anything to the imagination,” said Chloe. “For Liam, or Oliver.”

“Our handsome guys,” said Gabbi.

“Our sexy guys,” said Chloe.

“Yes,” said Gabbi.

“Do you ever look at, er, um…”

“What?”

“I sometimes look at Oliver’s.”

“What?”

“How can I not when they both come, er, bouncing up the sand together like that.”

“It’s hard not to look.”

“It’s hard not to look.”

“Is that wrong?”

“Is that wrong?”

They both laughed. 

Chloe filled their wine glasses up.

“Do you ever look at the two of them and wonder… er?’ Chloe laughed. “I can’t believe I am telling you this. I’ve had too much wine already.”

“What? Tell me.”

“Do you ever look at Liam and Oliver and think of them…”

“What?”

“Oh Gabbi?”

“What?”

“You’ll look at me differently?”

“Naked?”

“Together.”

“What?” Gabbi’s voice raised up shrilly. “Liam and Oliver?”

“Yeah.”

“You mean… er… together?”

“Together.”

“Together, together?”

“You know, if it were,” Chloe drank her wine. “Say, um, a private show. Think Magic Mike X.”

“A private show?

“Just for the two of us?’

“Well, maybe one of us at a time?”

“Yes. A private show for me? said Chloe

“Yes.””

“And then a private show for you?” said Chloe.

“Oh, well. yes. A private showing.” Gabbi giggled and blushed.

“Oh, now I’ve embarrassed you. Sorry,” said Chloe.

“Oh Chloe, not embarrassed me, no you haven’t.”

“You blushed though.”

Gabbi giggled again. “Only because I was getting turned on, at the thought…” Gabbi laugh. “Turned me on, in front of you.”

“Oh Gabbi.”

“Well, Oliver, I’m guessing Liam is the same with their lesbian fantasies.”

“Liam is.”

“Has he ever suggested, you know, getting another girl?”

“Yes, he has.”

“Oliver has canvassed it too.”

“But I never took it seriously, and I think because of that Liam never really pushed it.”

“Oliver’s the same,” said Gabbi. “But Oliver still talks about it as a fantasy.”

“Yes, Liam too,” said Chloe. “Two girls, blah, blah, blah.”

“So why can’t we?”

“Our sexy husbands.”

“I…I…I… um… work with what we got.”

“I could watch Liam make out with Oliver, there I’ve said it,” said Chloe

“In those little speedos they wear.”

“See who pops out first.”

Chloe and Gabbi laughed.

Chloe filled up their wine glasses.

“Perhaps we could get them drunk?” said Chloe.

They chinked their glasses.

“I think Oliver would take some convincing.”

“I think Liam would be the same,” said Chloe.

“We could tell them we’d do it for them…”

“But they’d have to go first.”

“Yes.”

“Yes,”

“Still, what is it they say?”

“What?” said Chloe.

“That all guys have done it.”

“Done it?” said Chloe.

“With another guy,” said Gabbi. “All guys have had a sexual experience with another guy.”

“Do you think Liam and Oliver have?”

“Probably,” said Gabbi.

“Do you think we should ask them?” said Chloe.

“It would be a good place to start.”

Gabbi held out her wine glass for a refill.

“Perhaps we could get some E’s,” said Chloe

“Oh, we haven’t done E’s not since our uni days.”

“Get them high and then tell them to kiss each other,” said Chloe.

Gabbi laughed. “I’d like to see it.”

“Perhaps we just tell them that,” said Chloe.

“What?”

“That we want to see them kiss.”

“Oh Chloe.”

“Put two e’s in their mouths then tell them we want to see them kiss.”

“Then they do a show for each of us?” said Gabbi.

“Me and you?”

“A lap dance.”

“To each other.”

“They could strip each other down to their undies.”

“Then get in each other’s laps.”

“Out of it, in their undies making out, turned on.”

“That’s all they’d have to do.”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Just that.”

“Yes, just that.”

“I’d like to see that.”

“Two shows, one for me, one for you.”

Gabbi laughed.

“Oh Chloe,” Gabbi said.

“Imagine if they made each other cum, though.”

“What would that even look like?” said Gabbi.

“I meant, if they made each other cum in the first show…” said Chloe

“Oh yes, there would be no second show,” said Gabbi.

“Liam rolls over and goes straight to sleep.”

“Oliver does too.”

“It’s a guy thing.

“It’s a guy thing.

Chloe opened another bottle of chardonnay and filled up both their glasses.

“I can’t believe we are saying these things,” said Gabbi.

“Why not? Why not take back the dirty fantasies on our own terms,” said Chloe.

“Do you think we’ve drunk too much?” said Gabbi.

“Of course, we have,” said Chloe. “That doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Doesn’t it?” asked Gabbi.

“No, it is still true,” said Chloe. “It’s just without the wine we won’t admit to it.”

“We won’t?”

“No?”

“No.”

“To see Oliver and Liam in their undies giving each other a lap dance.”

“Those thick hairy legs together.”

“Those big beefy bums.”

“As hard as you like?”

Chloe laughed. “I like.”

“Oh Chloe,” said Gabbi

“Well?”

“I instantly got a mental picture of that after you said it.”

“The two boys coming out of their undies.”

“That soft cotton fabric falling away.”

“How do you think Liam would hold Oliver?”

“How do you think Oliver would hold Liam?”

“I think they would learn a lot about themselves.”

“I do too.”

“How to share the alpha.” She made parenthesis in the air with her fingers.

“How to let someone else take charge.”

“How to play nice with everyone.”

“I reckon it would be good for them.”

“Make men of them.”

“Not that they aren’t men now.”

“They are both kind of new age guys.”

“That’s why I think they would get something out of it.”

“I think that too.”

“More wine?” said Chloe.

“You have to stop smiling like that.”

“More wine?” said Chloe.

“Oh, I think so,” said Gabbi.

They chugged their wine.

“How big is Liam?” asked Gabbi.

“That’s why I married him,” Chloe slurred. “And Oliver?”

“Oh.” Gabbi laughed out loud. “Oliver is thick.” She gave a kind of a shiver.

“I wondered that on the beach on the Goldie,” said Chloe. She looked to Gabbi to see if she’d gone too far.

“Oliver is good at it,” said Gabbi.

“Yes, Liam is too.”

They raised their glasses. “To Liam and Oliver,” said Chloe. They chugged their wine.

“To Liam and Oliver,” said Gabbi. They chugged their wine.

“To Liam and Oliver,” they said in unison. They chugged their wine again.