If You Feel Lucky

The alley was long and dark, cobblestones covered the ground, there was a light at the far end that burnt with a yellow hue.

A man walked in from the dark end, wearing a knee length jacket and Cuban Heel boots.

A young, athletic man stood under the yellow light at the far end of the alley. He wore jeans and a singlet. His arms bulged with muscles on either side of his well developed chest. His guy crew of four sat around him on empty four gallon drums.

The Cuban Heels clip clopped on the grey cobblestones, which looked like steel grey corn on the cob laid out flat under his feet.

The young athletic man smoked a cigarette, the smoke from which clouded up into the yellow light, like mist on a cold night.

Cuban Heels walked straight up to the young man under the yellow light, as he approached, the young man flicked his cigarette at Cuban Heel's feet. Cuban Heels looked down at the burning red ember at his feet. He looked up at the young man under the yellow light.

"You feel lucky, pal?" said Cuban Heels.

"Lucky enough," said the athletic young man.

"You feel lucky enough to get to me, before I get to you?"

“Lucky enough, sure.”

"Protect your manliness, as you know I'm coming for that first."

“Come for it. Give it your best shot.”

"Suck my cock!" said Cuban Heels.

"Nah, you got it all wrong, mate. It's you who'll be sucking my cock," said the athletic young man.

"So, you are feeling lucky."

Cuban Heels stepped forward and grabbed the young man by the face. The young man didn't try to pull away, he stood firmly defiant, chin out, still.

They gazed at each other, defiantly.

Cuban Heels slipped his hand around the back of the young man's neck. He pushed the young man downwards onto his knees. The young man didn't resist.

The athletic young man’s crew got to their feet, but the athletic young man held up his hand telling them to hold back.

“How lucky do you feel now?” said Cuban Heels.

“Still lucky…” murmured the athletic young man.

Cuban heels rubbed the athletic young man’s face up and down his crotch.

The athletic young man’s crew got obviously twitchy, but they didn’t act.

“How lucky…” Cuban Heels rubbed the athletic young man’s face up against the front of his jeans again. “Do… you… feel?”

“Take it out, and I will bite the fucking thing off,” said the athletic young man.

Cuban Heels tossed the athletic young man down onto the cobble stones, where he landed on his arse. “You’ve got some hutzpah, you know, kid,” said Cuban Heels. He held out his hand to help the athletic young man up, which the athletic young man took. Cuban Heels wrenched the athletic young man to his feet with a jerk of his arm. Suddenly they were face to face eyeballing each other. “I like that in a man,” said Cuban Heels.

They eyeballed each other for several, long minutes. Then they both spat past the other onto the ground.

The athletic young man’s crew whooped and clapped loudly.

“You’ve got a strange way of greeting people,” said the athletic Young man..

“What’s your name?” asked Cuban Heels.

“Felix,” said the athletic young man. “What’s yours?”

“Jose,” said Cuban Heels. “What are you going to do with it?”

“Nothing,” said Felix.

“What if I make you?” said Jose.

Felix’s crew of athletic young men, now sitting back down on the drums, began to sit up and pay attention, all four of them. Ready for anything?

Felix held up his arm, and pushed out his chest, and moaned. “This is a strange way to say hello.”

Two of Felix’s crew had slipped their hands on to the handles of their guns in their jean’s waistbands.

Jose took Felix in his arms and whispered in his ear. “I’m going to do you well. If your boys weren’t here, I’d have you bent over one of those drums by now.”

“Oh yeah, man, but my guys are here,” said Felix.

“You’d take it like a girl?” said Jose.

“For as long as it takes my guys to blow your brains out,” said Felix. 

“Get rid of your boys and I will do you up against the wall right now,” said Jose. “With my bare hands.”

Felix turned to his crew. “Ha ha, you’d like that, hey.” His boys mummed in agreement. "With his bare hands."

“I’m telling you…” said Jose. He spun Felix around. Felix resisted. Jose pushed him face first up against the alley wall. “Get rid of your boys and we’ll find out who is the man here.”

“Fuck you.” said Felix. He broke out of Jose’s grip. “Coming alone was a tactical mistake.”

“Who said I was alone?” said Jose.

“You sure look alone,” said Felix.

“Looks can be deceiving,” said Jose.

“So can lies.”

“Whatever you want to believe?”

“Whatever I want to believe?” said Felix.

“The truth will set you free,” said Jose. “And in this case may be permanently.”

“You have awfully big talk, mate,” said Felix. “For someone who is standing alone in an alley way immediately out gunned.”

“It is the only way,” said Jose. “You know that.”

“One of you, five of us, at the end of a very long alley way, into which no one could come fast enough to save you,” said Felix.

“Maybe so, but none of you would be making it out of here alive if anything happened to me.”

“That’s a big risk.”

“Nah,” said Jose. “I don’t see it as such.”

“No?”

“No, I see it as good will, going towards us working through the problems we have?”

“And what problems would they be?” asked Felix.

“You know as well as I do, what they are?”

“Why don’t you refresh my memory?”

“I thought I did, pushing you up against that wall?”

“Intimidation, isn’t reconciliation,” said Felix. “And I don’t scare easily.”

“I was just giving it to you how I have heard you like it, you know, to be friendly. Get on your good side.”

“You need to get better sources,” said Felix.

“Okay, here it is, you guys have been selling on my territory…”

“Your territory?”

“The Northside.”

“Who made you the king of the Northside?”

“Generations of family controlling the Northside, that’s what gave me claim to it.”

“So, you think,” said Felix.

“So, I know.”

“Do you?”

“Look, stick to the Southside, and all those disco queens who will buy enough of your, er, merchandise to make it worth while for you. Work it well, and you will do well.”

“What happens if I want to expand?”

“There will be trouble.”

“From who?”

“Felix, let’s not pretend any more, mate, we have been patient up until this point, but I out gun, out man, and out fire power you on every level, so, be a good lad…”

“Good lad?”

“You are seriously stretching the friendship,” said Jose. “Work the southside, you should do well with it, and you, and you posse of pretty boys here will get to keep your dicks, attached, where they should be attached, do we understand each other?”

“I’m not…”

“All I won’t to hear at this point is, I understand?”

“I don’t think you grasp…”

Jose grabbed Felix by the singlet. “Yes, or no?” Felix’s boys all got to their feet. Jose pulled Felix’s face centimetres from his face.

“Yes, yes, yes,” said Felix.

“You understand?”

“Yes.”

“Say it.”

“I understand.”

Jose let go of Felix singlet pushing him backwards and away from him. Felix stumbled but remained on his feet.

“Sensible move,” said Jose.

Blow Up Doll

Sunday Night Out

I went out dancing last night. Popped a pill and went on the hunt for some basic beats.

I found what I wanted. I grooved into the night. It's what I needed, a good, mindless dance. I popped another pill, when the end of the night seemed further away than I'd like.

The lights were good. The music just fine.

I flirted with a cute Italian boy. Nice smile, kind of wanting, he was on something, to be sure. His jaw shivered Beautiful eyes, big and brown. We danced and smiled. He was with a girlfriend. They shared each other's water.

I popped another pill, thinking about him. My eyes bled. My teeth clenched. My head floated to the roof and floated there on a wave of doof, doof, doof. Bobbing. Floating I couldn't see. My teeth ground constantly. My sense of balance faltered from this plane to the next, but in a good way, a funny way, a way that made me laugh, made me feel ten feet tall.

Faces appeared and floated away. The Italian boy asked me something, but the ringing in my ears masked his words. He smiled. I got the sense I was supposed to answer. It seemed funny. That disconnection, half floating on another plane. My eyes bulged as I tried to focus. I laughed. I was smiling. I couldn't stop smiling.

He took my hand and we were rushing through the crowed. Everything changed. His hand felt good in mine, it was all I could feel. Was I collapsing and I just didn't realise? Would there be red & blue lights? Why would he care? People swayed into view and then out. He was always just passed the next person, just out of sight, but his hand gripped mine tightly.

Dark. Cold. Crashing through doors.

Fresh. The light was suddenly florescent. There were tiles. Everyone was stopped. Milling. It was bright. Hot lights. I shielded my face. I wasn't collapsing, or falling, but my eyes had difficulty opening. Something was funny, deep inside me. I could feel myself laughing, but somewhere else.

The Italian boy said thanks, to someone. I'm not sure who. Everything rushed if I opened my eyes. Blur. My head flopped just a bit.

I was being pushed backwards. It was darker, the brightness was gone. Then it was back. There was a wall behind me.

"I’m Rocky," said the Italian guy.

Rocky was undoing his belt. The buttons on his fly popped open. I was looking down as he got his dick out, I looked away.

Suddenly it was cold.

“I’m Jackson,” I slurred.

We were standing at the urinal, except I was facing the wrong way. A guy came through the door holding his girlfriends hand

"You’re a friend of Johnny’s aren’t you, handsome man?" said Rocky.

“Johnny Jergan?”

“Yep.”

“Yep.”

The toilets were really bright, and I closed one eye. All the edges were really sharp, the grid patterns were really standing out.

“He’s a good mate.”

“Johnny is the best,” I said. I focused on Rocky’s face. His skin was kind of white and blotchy, but that could have been me. His face was shiny with sweat, his hair was kind of wet but still cool. Thick. I looked away. Two guys wearing the same clothes came through the door, they were chewing fiercely.

“You’re a good dancer,” said Rocky

“Am I,” I said. I looked back at Rocky. There was a strong stream of piss still coming out of him. I looked away. “I like to dance.”

“Yeah, me too,” said Rocky. I looked back at him, he was shaking the last of the piss off his cock. He slipped it back into his jeans and started buttoning the buttons. “It’s nice to have someone to dance with.”

“You have your girlfriend.”

“Yeah, sure, but it’s nice to have guy energy too.”

“Yeah both, we need both.” I wasn’t even sure what I was saying by this point. “It makes the world spin.”

“Ying and Yang.” Rocky stepped to the sink and rinsed his hands under the cold water.

We stood next to each other and gazed at ourselves in the mirror.

“You’re holding up better than me,” said Rocky.

“Oh rubbish, with your cheek bones.”

“Noone would ever guess we’re how many pills,” he looked at me.

“What?”

He pointed at my reflection in the mirror with his chin. “How many pills is that?”

“Ah…”

“If you can’t remember it must be time for another one.”

“Shouldn’t that be if you can’t remember… “but my jaw was quivering and I was losing the will to complete the sentence “Ah, 3, it’s 3.”

“Not bad, you look good for 3.”

“How many you?” I asked.

“I think it is 3 too, and a few lines.”

“Yeah, a couple of lines for me to.”

“As a taster for the night.”

“A starter, is what I always say,” I said. “My buddy Derek always makes me up an enormous line to start the night.

“I think we both look good,” said Rocky.

“Heaven and hell,” I said.

“What? Me and you?” said Rocky.

“No, here and there,” I said.

Rocky laughed. “We should pop another pill before we head back out.

“Yeah, sure,” I said.

We were then both in front of the mirrors with our small plastic bags in our hands trying to open the snap lock and get a pill out.

“Should I wonder about doing this, when I can’t get the bag open.”

“It just means it is more urgent than we first thought,” said Rocky. “And you need to get it into your quicker.”

We finally wrestled our pills from their small plastic bags. We put the pills in our mouths. We both motioned for a drink. Neither of us had water.

“Here, you two boys are in need?” said Magnolia the drag queen. She had just entered the toilets. She handed us her drink, which turned out to be a double whisky and coke, we both washed our pills down.

“Thanks,” I said. I coughed after the strong alcohol.

“Thanks,” said Rocky. He inhaled after the whiskey as though he was catching his breath.

We both did that that’s-too-much face post strong alcohol grimace.

“Charmed,” said Magnolia. She looked Rocky up and down. “Puts hairs on your chest.”

“You’re a life saver,” I said.

“Yeah, much obliged,” said Rocky.

“A girls got to wait for a squat potty anyway before she can get her business done,” said Magnolia. She ran her finger down my nose, I resisted pulling away after she gave us her drink so generously. “You two are adorable.”

“You are adorable too,” said Magnolia looking at Rocky. “You two together?”

“We are right now,” I said.

“Working on it,” said Rocky.

“Well, if you need someone to hold the lube, later,” said Magnolia. “I’m your girl.”

“Well keep that in mind,” said Rocky. He smiled his gorgeous smile.

Right at that moment a cubicle door opened up and two guys in leather came out, both sniffing noticeably. “That’s my opening.”

“I bet you’ve had some great openings,” I said. Meaning shows, but I immediately thought how someone could think otherwise.

“Cheeky,” said Magnolia.

Rocky laughed out loud. “You bet she’s had a few great openings,” he said. “You kill me.”

Rocky was one adorable guy.

“You ready,” he said.

“As I ever will be.”

“Let’s go.” Rocky took my hand. Three guys came in just as we were leaving, all draped over each other.

Rocky led me out of the toilets. Suddenly the world went dark. A wall of sound hit us. Lights flashed. The floor pulsed to the beat. 

Doof. Doof. Doof. Hot. Sweaty. Heat.

The crowd closed in on us. I gazed at Rocky’s wide shoulders as he led me through the people with a strong grip on my hand as though he wasn’t going to let go for any reason.

It all returned instantly. The sweating, the rushing, the dizzy, out of body, feeling. Drained of fluid. Topped up. I saw a couple of distorted faces rush at me and then rush away.

Rocky smiled sweetly back at me and the crowd parted. His girl friend was next to him with the water. They both glanced back at me. He smiled.

The lights flashed. The groove came and got me. I needed to dance. My head was spinning.

Rocky grabbed my arm before I disappeared back into the throbbing crowd. “There is an after party starting directly after this one,” he said. “You should come with us.”

“Yeah, sure, okay,” I said. I wouldn’t be ready to come down any time soon, an after party sounded just like the thing. “Sounds good.”

“We’ll find you, don’t worry,” he said.

We started to dance. Rocky beat the air with his fists. I spun around in circles. Rocky’s girlfriend started to shimmy and roll her arms.

All Day On The Internet

A day off, a day to myself. The whole day stretching out in front of me.

My computer, I switch it on early. A bag of dope, Penny makes a home delivery early on her way to somewhere else. She’s a sight. She’s in a white strap chiffon dress with pink fur trim around he hem, pink bunny ears and a Fendi bag.

“Baguette,” she says when I mention it

She invests what she calls he play money in Fendi bags.

“Where are you going?” I ask her.

“Oh, where are any of us going, that is the question? says Penny.

“No, I mean now?”

“I just left a club, it was a good night.”

“So, anywhere from here to infinity?” I was just testing her.

She laughs. “As close as you can get.”

“I tell you, you always do my head in.”

“Listen to you. Now can I help you with one Jolly Rodgers, or two?”

Some times it's chicken snacks, sometimes it's party dresses, sometimes it's armadillos with no warning, or explanation, you just have to keep up.

“I’d better have two?”

“I love your decisiveness,” she says. She twitches her nose like Samantha Stevens.

I pushed her out the door as soon as I could. I find I start to lose IQ points if I talk to Penny for too long.

I made coffee, strong and black... I couldn’t be a happier boy? 

I pulled up the garden table under my veranda. It was a lovely sunny day, especially under the partial shade of the veranda and the Japanese Maple in front of the veranda. I rolled a joint really quickly and smoked it down greedily as I sipped my coffee.

I rolled a second joint.

I typed away on my laptop.

What do you think is in Luke’s pants?

Oh, I don’t know, let me take a look at him.

You need to look at him to guess what is in his pants?

Yes, of course, you don’t think I can just wing it on some vague idea of him?

Well, no, I guess not, I hadn’t thought about that way before.

Oh yes, of course, I’m going to have to have a look at him.

No problem, that is no problem. Take a look.

Otherwise, I might be in danger of making it up.

Making it up, you say?

Yes, imagining something that is there that isn’t there at all.

Well, no, we can’t have that, I suppose.

No, that wouldn’t be any good at all.

We need an honest response.

We need a true appraisal of what is in there.

Yes, we do.

Naturally.

Well, he is a B39 series 4. He’s a very nice example of that model. He should have a triple battery pack, plus the enhancement function in his pants in the hip.

Okay.

Should we take a look?

Yes. Let’s

Okay. The battery pouch just clicks off like this. There. Now you can see the optional quad battery pack, in this case, and the enhancement function.

Yes, I can see that.

He looks all complete, he should be good to go.

So, he is the companion model?

Yes, that is correct. He is programmed for conversation, emotional and practical. He is programmed for entertainment, which includes the date model and the games model.

So, just as good as heading out to a show, or playing various games at home.

“Yes, that is correct. He’s just as capable for live shows and cinema, or being at home for cards, chess, backgammon and the like.

Equally good for all those things.

Yes, he is a good allrounder.

Well, that is great.

And he is perfectly capable and able if his mistress let’s say gets drunk at lunch to drive her home.

He sounds almost perfect.

His service chip is up to date. He looks as though he has been well cared for.

That’s good to hear. Sad for him if he wasn’t.

I’m sorry, what?

It would be awful to be neglected.

Oh no, he has no programming around that. It wouldn’t matter.

It wouldn’t matter.

No. You don’t have to keep up any type of emotional crutch for him, like you would a real boyfriend/husband.

You don’t have to fake it with him?

No. No need to fake any sort of sincerity like you would for any human connection.

Oh god, that must be so freeing.

Oh yes, it is such a relief, let me assure you.

I move into the breakfast room for a little toast, with mashed banana on it halfway through the day for lunch. I made more coffee. I had to keep up my 6, or 7, cups per day. Naturally. The more coffee the better, that’s what I always say.

The sun is shining in through the window, that always helps. Life is so much nicer with the sun shining and the blue sky overhead, it just makes existence that much nice.

What can I say, let’s go for the optimum day, with the sun shine option, the blue sky option, plus the peace and serenity options all ticked. That is the day I am after, and that was the day I got.

Nobody disturbed me all day, so I must have inadvertently switched on the bliss option when I was loading my dashboard, so three cheers for that.