A day off, a day to myself. The whole day stretching out in front of me.
My computer, I switch it on early. A bag of dope, Penny makes a home delivery early on her way to somewhere else. She’s a sight. She’s in a white strap chiffon dress with pink fur trim around he hem, pink bunny ears and a Fendi bag.
“Baguette,” she says when I mention it
She invests what she calls he play money in Fendi bags.
“Where are you going?” I ask her.
“Oh, where are any of us going, that is the question? says Penny.
“No, I mean now?”
“I just left a club, it was a good night.”
“So, anywhere from here to infinity?” I was just testing her.
She laughs. “As close as you can get.”
“I tell you, you always do my head in.”
“Listen to you. Now can I help you with one Jolly Rodgers, or two?”
Some times it's chicken snacks, sometimes it's party dresses, sometimes it's armadillos with no warning, or explanation, you just have to keep up.
“I’d better have two?”
“I love your decisiveness,” she says. She twitches her nose like Samantha Stevens.
I pushed her out the door as soon as I could. I find I start to lose IQ points if I talk to Penny for too long.
I made coffee, strong and black... I couldn’t be a happier boy?
I pulled up the garden table under my veranda. It was a lovely sunny day, especially under the partial shade of the veranda and the Japanese Maple in front of the veranda. I rolled a joint really quickly and smoked it down greedily as I sipped my coffee.
I rolled a second joint.
I typed away on my laptop.
What do you think is in Luke’s pants?
Oh, I don’t know, let me take a look at him.
You need to look at him to guess what is in his pants?
Yes, of course, you don’t think I can just wing it on some vague idea of him?
Well, no, I guess not, I hadn’t thought about that way before.
Oh yes, of course, I’m going to have to have a look at him.
No problem, that is no problem. Take a look.
Otherwise, I might be in danger of making it up.
Making it up, you say?
Yes, imagining something that is there that isn’t there at all.
Well, no, we can’t have that, I suppose.
No, that wouldn’t be any good at all.
We need an honest response.
We need a true appraisal of what is in there.
Yes, we do.
Naturally.
Well, he is a B39 series 4. He’s a very nice example of that model. He should have a triple battery pack, plus the enhancement function in his pants in the hip.
Okay.
Should we take a look?
Yes. Let’s
Okay. The battery pouch just clicks off like this. There. Now you can see the optional quad battery pack, in this case, and the enhancement function.
Yes, I can see that.
He looks all complete, he should be good to go.
So, he is the companion model?
Yes, that is correct. He is programmed for conversation, emotional and practical. He is programmed for entertainment, which includes the date model and the games model.
So, just as good as heading out to a show, or playing various games at home.
“Yes, that is correct. He’s just as capable for live shows and cinema, or being at home for cards, chess, backgammon and the like.
Equally good for all those things.
Yes, he is a good allrounder.
Well, that is great.
And he is perfectly capable and able if his mistress let’s say gets drunk at lunch to drive her home.
He sounds almost perfect.
His service chip is up to date. He looks as though he has been well cared for.
That’s good to hear. Sad for him if he wasn’t.
I’m sorry, what?
It would be awful to be neglected.
Oh no, he has no programming around that. It wouldn’t matter.
It wouldn’t matter.
No. You don’t have to keep up any type of emotional crutch for him, like you would a real boyfriend/husband.
You don’t have to fake it with him?
No. No need to fake any sort of sincerity like you would for any human connection.
Oh god, that must be so freeing.
Oh yes, it is such a relief, let me assure you.
I move into the breakfast room for a little toast, with mashed banana on it halfway through the day for lunch. I made more coffee. I had to keep up my 6, or 7, cups per day. Naturally. The more coffee the better, that’s what I always say.
The sun is shining in through the window, that always helps. Life is so much nicer with the sun shining and the blue sky overhead, it just makes existence that much nice.
What can I say, let’s go for the optimum day, with the sun shine option, the blue sky option, plus the peace and serenity options all ticked. That is the day I am after, and that was the day I got.
Nobody disturbed me all day, so I must have inadvertently switched on the bliss option when I was loading my dashboard, so three cheers for that.
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