I'm Semi Interested In People

I'm semi interested in people, you know, as long as they don't interfere with my life too much, do their own thing, don't whine or gossip, or bore my pants off, I’m okay with them. Humans are interesting, in a self-focused, selfish kind, poke them and see kind of way. Cats and humans are alike, it's why some humans don't like their feline friends all that much, too alike.

Maybe, they'd make good pets? You know, a couple of throw humans for the end of the bed. 

"I can't sleep, entertain me." You know, the pretty ones. Go on, get on with it. Don’t be shy. Oh, don’t make me have to show you, surely your natural juices, your propensity to show of? Pheromones, hormones, just lick it and see. How else do any of you shag? It isn’t rocket science. Come on, I’m waiting.

The plain ones could still cook & clean, or take the rubbish out. Sort out your emails. I don’t know, what else did you used to get your mum to do?

I could teach them to say lines like a cocky, or stand like a statue. Or, maybe, I could just watch them wrestle on a mat, or make them sit up on their hind legs and catch chocolate in their mouths. Clap their hands and honk like a seal?

Of course, there would be a favourite, which, I guess, would get him into fights with the others. But, it can only toughen him up, which can't be a bad thing. You know, Rocky is my favourite.

The charismatic one, with big hands, who looks good on all fours.

You know how life works?

So many of them are worth a giggle and a point. And if they can take directions, all the better.