Fear In A Big Car

“The same fear of being assaulted, is essentially the same fear that makes woman want to drive four wheel drives,” says Emerald.

“You can't touch me in this?” says Jerry

“I can get you first, she thinks, as she cuts everyone off... and the persecuted become the persecutors,” says Emerald

“That's life, I suppose,” says Harvey.

“Increasingly, we are making decisions on fear and not on logic. The commercial world's greatest asset, keep them afraid and they will spend more money to make themselves feel better, to make themselves feel safer,” says Brian.

“Funny how self preservation is our greatest goal,” says Jerry.

“It kind of has to be, now doesn’t it,” says Harvey.

“Mine is to get lovely art on the wall, a 911 in the garage, and a beach house down the coast. Oh yes, and a few dollars saved in the bank,” says Brian.

“Stop living in fear girls, go and get yourself a nice dress instead, a job you enjoy, and a man for your bed,” says Harvey.

“Easy for you to say,” said Emerald.

“Oh yes, I know. It’s just that this conversation was about chicks in their 4WDs, namely of the charcoal grey Volvo variety,” says Brian.

“Watch out, I am coming through, sitting up as high as I like. I feel invincible in my command centre on wheels. Out of my way, little man, you are in my path,” says Emerald.

“You won’t fit through there, Emerald. No, you won’t,” says Harvey.

“COMING THOUGH!” says Emerald.

“Jasus Xist, you fitted through. Dear Universe! How did you do that?” says Harvey.

“Cackle.” Emerald laughs.

“You sound possessed when you laugh like that, Emerald, you really do!” says Jerry.

“Maniacal laugh. The engine roaring,” screams Emerald.

“Did you see the look on that poor sod’s face,” says Jerry.

“He’s lucky he had a face left now that I am done. GET OUT OF MY AWY!” says Emerald.

“It is fear, that makes them act in such away, it has to be, as nobody is that fucked up naturally,” says Jerry. “Surely?”

“It could have been just as easily said, Stop living in fear boys, go and get yourself a nice dress, in which you can feel the fresh air blow, a job you enjoy, and a man for your bed. Enjoy taking what your wife/girlfriends can’t give you, in your tiny briefs and your arse swishing in just such away, being such a tease, baby,” says Brian.

“Women have to win sometimes,” says Emerald. “They can’t always live in fear.”

“Here’s to women,” says Jerry.

“To women feeling safe,” says Harvey.

“And to all those men who make them live in fear,” says Brian. “Hold up your glasses.”

They hold their glasses high in the air.

“Fuck you,” they all say in unison.

They scull their drinks.

“More wine?” says Emerald. She holds up bottles of red and white wine, one in each hand. Everyone wants a refill.

“All those men who make women afraid, they should be given to the gays,” says Jerry. 

“In their undies,” says Harvey.

“Made to dance like go-go boys,” says Brian.

“Until they fucken drop,” says Emerald.

“And judged on performance,” says Jerry. 

“And looks,” says Harvey.

“And how they fill their briefs,” says Brian.

“They should be made to serve the queens meals?’ says Jerry.

“High tea,” says Harvey.

“Get their arses pinched while they are doing it,” says Brian.

“Get touched up,” says Jerry.

“Right up the crack in their arses,” says Emerald.

“Spoken down to…,” says Harvey.

“Like objects,” says Brian.

“Yes, that would fix them,” says Jerry.

“Knock the misogyny out of them,” says Harvey.

“Fuck them up,” says Emerald.

“And if it doesn’t, they should be kept in service,” says Brian.

“In their scanties,” says Jerry.

“Until they learn how to behave around the opposite sex,” says Harvey.

“I’ll take one,” says Brian. “Under my wing.”

“For the good of the planet, I assume,” says Jerry.

“Doing your bit for society, I assume?” says Harvey.

“More wine?” says Emerald. She held up the red and white bottles again.

“It will be the best gay version of They Shoot Horses Don’t They,” says Brian.

“Except for aggressive straight boys,” says Jerry.

“Dancing solo go-go style,” says Harvey.

“Until they drop,” says Brian.

“And they get carried off,” says Jerry.

“By muscle boys,” says Harvey.

“Getting dumped like bags of shit into bunks provided,” says Brian.

“With collars,” says Jerry.

“And leashes,” says Harvey.

“I’ll apply the lashes to the recalcitrant ones, right on their firm round arses,” says Brian. “This is for every woman you've made to feel afraid. Thwack!”

"This is for every girl you've hurt. Thwack!" says Jerry.

"This is for every girl you've made cry. Thwack!" says Harvey.

“More wine?” says Emerald.