Use The Remote: What Happened?

What happened? We look around and every thing's changed and we ask the question. What happened? Do I remember? Have I had fun? What does any of this mean?

Did I fulfil my dreams?

Or, was I too busy living my life, working my days to pay for my nights? The bills never stopped, the wants never ceased, just decreased a little each year, if you know what I mean. By the time I am very old, I am sure I will be very still.

And suddenly it's ten, twenty years later and we are left wondering, what happened? What did I do? Where did time go? And suddenly you are having trouble getting up from the couch. I used to just spring up, now it is grab hold and heave-ho.

How did I get here?

But, I feel okay. Just the same. Just the minutes slip sliding away. Oh? Now a groan, and an ache. What does that mean? What does that make? Can I remember any time before now?

I still feel the same, inside this old frame. I still feel like the young girl who ventured out into the world. I still feel like the eighteen year old, learning to drive, the twenty four year old, moving out of home, the twenty nine year old, falling in love, the thirty nine year old looking out through these eyes, the forty nine year old, wining at life. I still feel the same deep down in my soul, if any of us have souls, that I always have? I still feel like the girl I have always been.

It is just my refection that doesn’t add up any more. And what I feel when I try to spring up off the floor.

Old age, it should be illegal.

On 01 Sept 2010, at 7:56 PM

Denise James <DeniseJames787@gmail.com> wrote:

Dinner in the oven Chicken drumlets and vegetable cheese bake . All is ok .

This is my email Address from now on .

Denise

01.09.2010

New Email Address

Dumplings for dinner, Sammy is cooking. All is okay here.

My email address is the same.

Joan

On 3 Sep 2010, at 5:24 PM

Denise James <DeniseJames787@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi , i have no interest in talking to you , however you have my address and gifts need to posted now in order for them to arrive in time . I shall keep an eye on the postbox . PLEASE , do not send stale lemonade scones , one can only bear it ,I mean live it it up with so many people once in ones life , on your 50th . I think you have an upcoming birthday soon . Happy Birthday Joan . According to Ancestry.com , you were born in 1951 and it shows . I , as it turns out am 3 years younger than Kate , which means she turned 40 this year . So , just spoil me I think .

Hurtling towards 40 is not an easy thing Luv as I am sure you have long forgotten.

many happy returns .

Denise

On Sat, Sep 3, 2010 at 5:41 PM

Joan Withers <JoanWithers00@gmail.com> wrote:

The only way you’d be hurtling towards 40, luv, was if you drove your car at a speed sign. As it turns out, I was born in 1971, right along with microprocessor Integrates CPU Function onto a Single Chip, and the reincarnation of Coco Chanel, a true woman of the modern age. Since we now follow the Amish tradition the only gift we could possibly manage would be lemonade scones, or a lovely line in aprons. It seems only fair, if I remember rightly you turn 55 any day now. Happy birthday, luv. Let me know where to send them. Three years younger than Kate? Weren’t you midwife at her birth?

My birthday is not for a week.

How long have I known you?

Joan

On 3 Sep 2010, at 6:10 PM

Denise James <DeniseJames787@gmail.com> wrote:

It is no surprise to me , that you admit freely that today that you are mostly machine these days , being moments away from 70 . As for Coco darl as close as you are ever likely to get is if Sammy serves you a mug of it in a soup bowl at bed time . Pats you on the head and says nighty , nighty you old cunt , and you are most likely to be wearing one , as he calculates what you are worth , well , dead .As for for following Amish tradition , goodness knows is goes beyond yourself . I know it very well after my last and particularly unfortunate , as always , meeting with the Octogenarian Peta Wellington and her toyboy who still thinks he is a toyboy , but really , that was 30 years ago , Shawn .Modern Man ? Grow an Amish beard , as your Bible requires for all Men and forbids the consumption of Pork .

No i was not mid-wife . I was not BORN YET.

Denise

On Sat, Sep 3, 2010 at 6:16 PM

Joan Withers <JoanWithers00@gmail.com> wrote:

Mother Teresa has just been sainted, I’ll be next

Luv, in 1972, you were 25.

Joan

On 3 Sep 2010, at 6:21 PM

Denise James <DeniseJames787@gmail.com> wrote:

you forgot to add the two numbers together , 2+5 = 7 years old.

Denise

Date: 3/09/2010 6:28 PM (GMT+10:00)

From: Joan Withers <JoanWithers00@gmail.com>

To: Denise James <DeniseJames787@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: Denise's Birthday 18SEPT 2010

I forget nothing

Joan

On 3 Sep 2010, at 6:32 PM

DeniseJames787 <DeniseJames787@gmail.com> wrote:

It just so unfortunate for you bunch of tragidies that , niether do I . As for Beatification , the only miracle associated with the likes of you is that you ate still alive.

Denise

On Sat, Sep 3, 2010 at 7:40 PM

Joan Withers <JoanWithers00@gmail.com> wrote:

You wrote 'ate'

Joan

On Sat, Sep 3, 2010 at 8:14 PM

Denise James <DeniseJames787@gmail.com> wrote:

I very rarely text .

The word is ‘are’. Clear now? You old fool.

Denise

On 3 Sep 2010, at 8:15 PM

Denise James <DeniseJames787@gmail.com> wrote:

Re: Denise's Birthday 18SEPT 2010

Sleep well , enjoy your Cocoa .

Denise

03.09.2010, 9.19pm

Re: Denise's Birthday 18SEPT 2010

Yes, indeed. Sweet dreams, luv

Joan

On 3 Sep 2010 9:20 PM,

"Joan Withers" <JoanWithers00@gmail.com> wrote:

I’m not surprised you are in bed already... at your age

Joan

On 4 Sep 2010, at 5:43 AM

Denise James <DeniseJames787@gmail.com> wrote:

I wake at 5am to let Tim out , so i tend to retire early . My mirror always tells me that I am indeed "The most beautiful one of all" because of it . I guess you dont bother to look in the mirror any longer , replacing a shattered mirror on a daily basis , must have cost you a fortune by now .

Denise

Date: 4/09/2010 5:45 AM (GMT+10:00)

From: Joan Withers <JoanWithers00@gmail.com>

To: Denise James <DeniseJames787@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: Denise's Birthday 18SEPT 2010

Don’t even glance into that looking glass, darl.

Joan

On 4 Sep 2010, at 5:51 AM,

DeniseaJames787 <DeniseJames787@gmail.com> wrote:

I bet you don’t. There has been a little fall of rain early this morning , however fortunately my smoking spot is still dry . I amabout to go outside . Been awake all night again have we?

Denise

Date: 4/09/2010 5:55 AM (GMT+10:00)

From: Joan Withers <JoanWithers00@gmail.com>

To: Denise James <DeniseJames787@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: Denise's Birthday 18SEPT 2010

I just got up, just now. I just had a joint in the back yard in the dark, waiting for the Apex Gang to turn up.

How is Tim?

Joan

04.09.2010, 6.11am

Re: Denise's Birthday 18SEPT 2010

No doubt you are on to your 2nd sherry by 6am

Joan

On 4 Sep 2010, at 6:12 AM,

DeniseaJames787 <DeniseJames787@gmail.com> wrote:

Apparently , the majority of that lot are black Africans , it's just an observation by the way . The sand belt is more likely to experience crime . Since you are stoned and it is dark ,however, get inside i say . What is so wrong with a cup of coffee , like i am enjoying.

Denise

04.09.2010, 6.13am

Re: Denise's Birthday 18SEPT 2010

Just poured my second cuppa

Joan

4/09/2010 6:18 AM

From: DeniseJames787 <DeniseJames787@gmail.com>

Date: 4/09/2010 6:18 AM (GMT+10:00)

To: DeniseJames787 <DeniseJames787@gmail.com>

Cc: Denisejames787@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Denise's Birthday 18SEPT 2010

Please . If you are stupid enough to take drugs , don't transfer you guilt onto me. Tim is fine 4 months here now . 3 of hell and a somwhat expensive time, but finally he is enjoying being a pet and no longer has expectations of having to run for his dinner . I have always adored him and vice versa , but it has been a ttrial.

Denise

04.09.2010, 11.52pm