Rabbits

 

If you chase two rabbits, they will both escape

- Chinese proverb

Adam was chasing Jennifer and Sienna. He figured that was his best bet for getting a date on Saturday night. He thought if he chased two chicks, as he said, he’d land one of them. Jennifer had self esteem issues and Sienna would do anything for love, that’s according to Adam’s sister Eve, she was Adam’s number 1 fan. Eve was keen to see Adam have more success with the opposite sex. Eve wanted to see her brother happy.

“So, you should be able to get either one,” says Eve. “Easily.”

“Jennifer is really pretty, but Sienna is sexy,” says Adam.

“You mean Sienna has big boobs, don’t you?”

“Bigger, yes.”

“You guys are all the same.”

“What?” says Adam. “You’re the one giving me the pointers.”

“I’m just looking out for you, little bro.”

“Just tell Jennifer she is pretty, she is insecure,” says Eve. “Sienna had an absent father so she wants someone to look after her, I’m pretty sure. You just have to fake that. And you’ll be in with a great chance.”

“How do I fake that.”

“How do you fake sincerity?”

“Yes.”

“Be big and strong.”

“How do I do that?”

“Oh Jesus Adam, you’re the guy in all of this,” says Eve. “You should know this stuff.”

“Say, you’re so pretty to Jennifer, and say, I don’t know, I’ll look after you to Sienna. Do I have to tell you everything?”

“This was your idea,” says Adam. “It will be easy, you said.”

“Getting into their pants, sure,” says Eve. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“Sure.”

“You don’t want to marry them, do you?”

“No, I just want a date.”

“That’s good, as marriage is harder.”

It was first year uni dance party. Jennifer and Sienna had been at school with Eve and now they are both doing 1st years arts with Adam. Apparently, Jennifer was going to be there tonight, so it was Adam’s big chance with her.

Eve dressed her brother up in black jeans, and a black tail shirt, she got Adam to wear with the tail hanging out.

Adam was nervous. He repeated both lines as he walked up to the club, despite the fact only Jennifer was going to be there tonight.

“You’re pretty. I’ll look after you. You’re pretty. I’ll look after you. You’re pretty. I’ll look after you.”

Eve had told him not to think about Sienna, as he could work on her another night.

Eve headed over to Adam’s in the morning. She was heading out to Preston Market, but Adam’s place was on the way. 

She knocked on Adam’s door at midday. Adam eventually answered the door.

“What happened?” says Eve.

“They were both there.”

Eve made an inhale sound of sucking air through her teeth.

“Sienna saw me with Jennifer.”

“Oh no, that’s not good,” says Eve. “That’s instant doubt.”

“She worked it out and told Jennifer.”

“Oh, no, that wasn’t in the plan.’

“They confronted me.”

“How did you do?”

“They were both angry. They said they thought I was the real deal.”

“Oh, no one wants that,” says Eve. “That’s not going to get you laid.”

“They said they had misjudged me, and not in a good way.

“Oh, no, there is no coming back from that.”

“They both said they weren’t interested.”

“They are bluffing,” says Eve.

“Sienna called me a snake,” says Adam.

Eve made more sucking noises through her teeth.

“They both stormed off together.”

Eve made big eyes and shrugged.