Another Day

Wasting my life with another day in front of my computer. I should really look at this, my computer addiction. 

Nah, there is always tomorrow.

Ha ha.

So, how badly do I want to do something about it?

If I had, actually, been writing something, it would be okay, spend as much time in front of your computer as you like, I tell myself. But, when I want to write, and I think right up front I’ll just check the news to see what is going on in the world, and hours later I am looking at French Provincial chairs, you know it’s not working.

I think I should, of course I do? Spend less time glued to my screen. I think it would probably be good for me if I did? Again, of course. But? Isn’t that what all addicts say, certainly initially? When questioned, or when self checking… denying.

What is it they say about addiction? That all addictions are really just unchecked bad behaviour. Because if we had a true addiction, we could never give it up. And we give up, what we call, addictions, every day.

So, we have to give up being addicted to our addiction first.

I don’t know if that is, actually, true? But it is interesting to think about.

I don’t want to change my bad behaviour, because really, I like it, it gives me satisfaction, you know. 

I, probably know I should, but… what the hell did we used to do with our lives when we didn’t have screens? How did we fill our day? I can’t remember now, it has been so long.

I’ll just have a quick look at the history of the Renault 4, then I will write something, I promise, myself, I am promising myself. I’ll get right down to it and write something spectacular, you wait.

You’ll see, I’m going to be a bloody great success. I am. If only I could concentrate long enough to write my masterpiece. The problem is that there are so many distractions. Everything is trying to pull me away from my main focus. Everything. The world is now designed that way.

Me? No, I don’t think it is me?

It is everything else, can’t you see that. The whole world is against us. No, it is.

I’m just going to open a new document, clean and fresh. I am going to make a fresh start, that is clearly what I need to do. A fresh start. Just open a new document, start again. That’s it. That’s what I need to do.

Start at the top.

Perhaps a coffee would help. I’ll get a coffee. And perhaps a piece of cake. Get me in the mood.