Sunday 15 January 2012

Aaron and Travis

Twins Aaron and Travis have been creepily identical since birth. Sure, they are twins, of course, but it goes further than that. They are like the same person. There is no doubt about the egg dividing with those two. When they were boys, only their mother could tell them apart.

"Do the chicks dig the twin thing?" I said.

"No, it does their heads in," said Aaron.

"Spins them out," said Travis.

"We've tried it with one girl," said Aaron. "Let her think we were one person."

"Twice," said both Travis and Aaron, at exactly the same time. It's spooky when they do that. And they do it often.

"The girl didn't like it," said Aaron.

"After a while," said Travis, with a cheeky smile.

"Spun her..." said Aaron.

"...out," said Travis.

"Once the drugs wore off," said Aaron.

"Didn't work," said Travis.

"When the final realisation hit her," said Aaron.

"When she realised we were..." said Travis.

"...two and not one," said Aaron.

They both reached for their coffee, at the same time. They both drank together. They both wiped their mouths in exactly the same way.

"They all think he's better looking," said Travis, smiling broadly. It is their joke. A twin joke. I guess you have to be there in person, as nobody can tell these guys apart.

"But really..."

"They can't tell us apart..."

"In any detail," said Aaron.

"In any detail," said Travis. "Can't tell it's not Aaron's chest they're not lying on..."

"When they are lying on his," said Aaron.

They both smiled exactly the same, kind of self-satisfied.

"We thought it would turn her on."

“You know, in the end.”

“Like it turned us on.”

"She threatened to have us charged," said Aaron.

Travis shrugged. "Like she would have known if we hadn't told her."

We cracked open three stubbies and let the afternoon sun warm our faces and sparkle in our eyes.

"We ran into her, together." Aaron pointed to Travis and then himself. "In the city, one Saturday."

“Just unexpectedly,” said Travis.

“She’d always thought there was something…”

“She couldn’t put her finger on it…”

“But there was something.”

“You wouldn’t know, now would you.”

“It just wouldn’t come into your thinking.”

“It’s different if you are a twin,” said Travis. “But otherwise, not so much.”

“But then she saw us together…”

“And she did these double takes and we could both see the realisation come to her as it came to her.”

“The look on her face.”

“Would have been priceless…”

“If she hadn’t turned like…”

“A bitch.”

“It was both of you,” she said. 

“And then she realised more.”

“OMG! I…” she dropped her voice and looked around. “I… both.. OMG! OMG! It was… both. BOTH!”

“Hold on,” said Travis.

“We never said…”

“No that IS the problem, you never said!”

It was a bright summery day, it sparkled. The sky was blue. Cloudless. The breeze was cool. Birds tweeted in the trees. Leaves fell from the gum tree.

Then there was the swap.”

“We swapped girlfriends.”

“We just wanted to know if they could tell.”

“If we could get away with it.”

“That was it.”

“And they nearly didn’t.”

“Tell,” said Travis.

“We shouldn’t have...”

“No, we shouldn’t have....”

“But, it’s just sex,” said Aaron

“What’s the big deal?” said Travis.

“If they enjoyed it when we were doing it…”

“Why complain about it later?”

“Just because they found out it wasn’t,” Aaron grimaced and raised his hands to make air quotes, “exactly what they thought.”

“What does making victims out of people, actually, prove?”

“Travis gave it away at the last minute,” said Aaron.

“I said something about talking to Aaron…” said Travis.

“When he was supposed to be me,” said Aaron.

“And Louisa got it straight away.”

“Talk to Aaron,” she said confused. “Then there were more OMG’s than I can remember as she picked it straight away.”

“She was screaming about rape.”

“Like WTF?”

“They both split up with us.”

“Dumped us. Both.”

“We learned that’s how you lose your girlfriend.”

“By doing that…”

“It is basically dishonest, I guess, when you really think about it.”

“We thought it was a bit of fun.”

“But our girlfriends definitely did not… think… that.”

“They took it…”

“Really badly.”

“Shame, they both had nice pussies.” Aaron smiled wickedly.

“Don’t smile like that,” said Travis.

"But, we both fucked them," said Travis.

"They had both of us, thinking we were the other person," said Aaron.

"Only time," said Travis. "We swapped around."

“Only time?” I asked.

They both laughed.

"They weren't half cross about it."

"We don't think we should try that trick again."

"We learnt our lesson," said Aaron.

"So?" I had to ask. "What about...?"

They both smiled exactly the same way. They both looked at each other, kind of embarrassed, kind of amused.

"Exactly the same," said Travis.

"Identical... too," said Aaron.

"So, you've compared them?"

"Of course, we have," they both said in unison. They looked at each other and shrugged. "Everybody asks that," again, in unison.

"It is a favourite question," said Travis.

"They are exactly the same," said Aaron.

Travis lowered his voice. "We've jerked off together, often."

“Often,” said Aaron.

“Had races,” said Travis.

“I always won,” said Aaron.

“Just proving…”

“He is a wanker…” said Aaron, now talking about himself in the 3rd person, as if identical twins wasn’t bad enough.

“When we were kids,” said Travis. “Well, not kids, you know what I mean?”

“You know what he means.”

“Men,” Travis.

“Turning into,” said Aaron.

“You know…”

“When guys do that sort of thing…”

“We…”

“Did.”

“We did.”

“And yeah, to answer your question…”

“Identical,” they said in unison.


Saturday 14 January 2012

Well, Hello There...



"Well, hello there, you're dam cute."

Hmmmmm, You Smell Good




"Hmmmmm, You smell real good. Real good."

You Taste Good Too



"You taste good too. oh yeah, very nice."

I'm Going To Lick Every Part Of You



"I'm going to lick every part of you. There won't be any part of you that hasn't had my tongue rubbed against it by the time I am finished."