Being Gay

Estimates of the incidence of homosexuality vary considerably with the definition of what homosexuality actually is. Some consider its most important aspect to be sexual behaviour between members of the same sex, while others stress inclination or orientation. The definitions can be described as same-sex sexual activity, same-sex sexual inclination, and same-sex sexual identity. These may be further broken down as sexual behaviour that may occur among persons of the same sex who do not identify as homosexual. Individuals who identify as same-sex loving are not always sexually active, although they normally are, whether due to necessity, circumstances, or personal choice. A person may have same-sex sexual thoughts or inclinations without ever acting on them, or regarding themselves as having a same-sex sexual orientation. But generally, it must be said, that is is sexual behaviour that is the defining aspect.

Once same-sex desire or behaviour has been singled out for attention, and especially negative attention, the question naturally arises: What makes people same-sex attracted? For many years the common assumption, shared by many scientists and actively encouraged by religious communities, was that the “normal” human sexual orientation is exclusively for the opposite sex. Sexual studies carried out during, and after, the mid twentieth century led psychologists and doctors to recognise homosexuality as a legitimate orientation of its own. Since then similar acceptance has grown for non-exclusive orientations, such as bisexuality.

The general understanding, by some scientists, is that rather than a single cause being involved, there is instead a combination of factors that act to determine each individuals sexual orientation – as with any human emotion. Nurture, nature, or some combination of the two are often thought to determine human sexual behaviour.

Other schools of thought say that they don't know what the reason is. While other experts say what does it matter. Do we have great scientific study into what causes heterosexuality?

The causes of sexual orientation have been the subject of much discussion and research, with little conclusive evidence. Usually, research on sexual orientation has been focused on the reasons for homosexuality, obviously because the world tends to view itself as straight.

The experience of those who identify as gay, suggests that sexual orientation is set in early childhood and maybe in some individuals set even earlier.

In surveys of gay men and lesbians, the majority assert that they were born gay. Most report that they knew they were "different from the other boys and girls" from an early age, often by puberty and not uncommonly before. This kind of anecdotal evidence is considered by many to be strongly indicative of the likelihood that orientation is not a choice. Instances of individuals stating that they chose to be gay are extremely rare to nonexistent.

Many gay men and lesbians, after they have “come out” to their family, friends and the world in general report in surveys that they would not want to change their sexual orientation.

Some people, primarily Christians, but conservatives too, advocate the view that people's sexual orientation follows from their behaviour. That is, if they try homosexual acts, they might like them and thereby acquire a same-sex-attracted orientation. Many gay people would counter this argument by saying “if only it was that simple.” In fact, some also believe that a heterosexual orientation is formed in the same way, and that the only genetic element is in the basic underlying sexual desire.

Of course, there is strong evidence that “religious types” would say whatever it takes to uphold their particular religious views.

Some people who identify as “straight” may have occasional interest in members of their own sex. Likewise, many people who identify as “gay”, or who might prefer same sex activities or relationships, have engaged in heterosexual activities or even have long-term heterosexual relationships. Such heterosexual behaviour by people who otherwise show same sex attraction has often been part of concealing one's same sex orientation. This is probably becoming less common as acceptance of same sex attraction increases.

Sexual activity with a person of the same sex, does not necessarily demonstrate same sex orientation, but is considered same-sex-attracted behaviour. Not all who are attracted to, or have sexual relationships with members of the same sex, identify themselves as same-sex-attracted or even bisexual. Some people frequently have sex with members of the same sex yet still see themselves as heterosexual. It is important therefore to distinguish between same-sex-attracted behaviour, same-sex attraction, and same-sex-attracted identity, which need not be the same thing. For example, people in prison, the military, the clergy, or other sex-segregated environments may engage in situational same-sex behaviour despite being opposite-sex orientated outside these environments. In addition, some people engage in same-sex behaviours for reasons other than desire. Examples are male prostitutes who earn money by having sex with other men. While some male prostitutes are homosexual, a significant number are not.

Various forms of same-sex sexual activity is prohibited under law in many countries. Usually, though not always, such laws are termed sodomy laws, but also include issues such as age of consent laws, "decency" laws, and so forth. Laws prohibiting same-sex sexuality have varied widely throughout history, varying by culture, religious and social taboos and customs, etc. Often such laws are targeted or applied differently based on gender as well. For example, laws against same-sex sexual behaviour in England during the reign of Queen Victoria, sodomy or buggery laws were aimed specifically at male same-sex sexual activity and did not target or even address female same-sex sexual activity.

Historically

Many early civilisations, such as those of ancient Greece and Rome, accepted same-sex behaviour as normal. In general, they did not make a distinction between homosexuality and heterosexuality as orientations. Homosexual and heterosexual responses were considered to both be natural and normal feelings that manifest to a greater, or lesser, degree in different individuals.

Ancient Greece gives us the earliest western documents concerning same sex relationships. In ancient Greece, same-sex relationships were a societal norm. Certainly, these relationships did not replace marriage between man and woman, but occurred before and beside it.

There is a long history of same-sex marriages in the western world. Many early western societies tolerated it. Surprisingly, they even celebrated same sex relationships. There are some evidence of same-sex marriages in ancient Rome. They can also be traced in ancient Greece, and even in medieval Europe. There are also some other evidences of Same-sex unions among Native Americans and Africans.

For example, the Emperor Nero is reported to have married, at different times, two other men in wedding ceremonies. Other Roman Emperors are reported to have done the same thing.

The increasing influence of Christianity, which promoted marriage for procreative purposes, is linked with the increasing intolerance of homosexuality in Rome.

The Greek civilisation considered it quite normal for young men to have older male mentors with whom sexual interaction was common.

In Europe during Hellenic times, the relationships between Greek men and youths who had come of age were analogous to marriage in several aspects. The age of the youth was similar to the age at which women married – the mid-teen – and the relationship could only be undertaken with the consent of the father. This consent, just as in the case of a daughter's marriage, was contingent on the suitor's social standing. The relationship, just like a marriage, consisted of very specific social and religious responsibilities, and also had an erotic component.

Similar examples can be found in Rome too, with well known "writings," in which a common acceptance of younger male, older male sexual activity is described. There was no serious debate about the causes of sexual orientation, because generally people were free to follow their personal inclinations.

There is much evidence that shows that same sex sexual desire has been recorded from ancient times in the east. This desire is the reason behind same-sex unions, usually between men. It often included some difference in age. Information on relationships among women in ancient times is very rare, may be because women were not afforded equal status with men, so that, while men were free to pursue sexual and romantic pleasure both within and without marriage, women often were not.

Male love was encouraged in China, especially in the southern province of Fujian. Men would even marry youths in elaborate ceremonies. The marriages were long lasting. At the end of this marriage the elder partner would help the younger find a wife so that he can settle down to raise a family.

Is there any examples of homosexual relationships in the history? Of course there are! But, the sexual orientation of pre-modern figures is a topic of intense controversy. It may be accepted, for example, that the sex lives of historical figures such as Alexander the Great, Plato, Hadrian, Virgil, Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo and Christopher Marlowe included or were centred upon relationships with people of their own gender. Terms such as homosexual or bisexual might be applied to them in that sense. But many regard this as risking the anachronistic introduction of a modern social construction of sexuality that is foreign to their times. For example, their societies might have focused upon the sexual role one took in these encounters, namely active, passive, both, or neither, as a key social marker. This particular system of designation is currently the norm in many areas of Latin America.

Some historians have claimed that same-sex marriage has been documented in many societies that were not subject to Christian influence. In North American, among the Native American societies, it has taken the form of two-spirit-type relationships, in which some members of the tribe elect to take on female gender with all its responsibilities.

They are prized as wives by the other men in the tribe, who enter into formal marriages with these two-spirit men.

In Africa, among the Azande of the Congo, men would marry youths for whom they had to pay a bride-price to the father. These marriages likewise were understood to be of a temporary nature.

The Hebrew Old Testament clearly indicates that King David had a sexual relationship with Jonathan, the son of King Saul. Much to the embarrassment of the Vatican, the Catholic theologian Boswell has uncovered proof that, up until the fourteenth century, the church was routinely performing wedding ceremonies for same-sex couples. King James, who ordered the English translation of the Bible which bears his name, was a homosexual, a fact of which the translators were well aware. This fact displeased them, but since he was the king, they could not express their displeasure openly. Although on the surface, they were careful to be certain that their translation flattered and pleased the king, they also used it to attack him in a way he could not fight.