I Have a Bad Feeling About This

A comet from deep in space flying towards you, contrasted against the pale blue sky, it is burning fiercely through the earth's atmosphere, blue, yellow and red,… I have a bad feeling about this, you think to yourself.

A man with a machine gun walking towards you in the blaring midday sun…You were out shopping, support the local establishment. He is walking up the, rapidly abandoned, main street, cars are in the middle of the road with their doors open. This is what you get for your trouble. I have a bad feeling about this, you think.

A snarling, rabid dog standing in front of you, just as you turn the corner…in the historic city of Meng Pla, you are not in Kansis City now Dorothy, you think. Down town Indonesia, with down town Indonesian hospitals. The beast bears its teeth, its fangs are incredible. I have a bad feeling about this, you think.

Tripping on a country train track and falling onto the stones between the sleepers, looking up to see a train speeding towards you… oh shit, you are too stoned to pull it together now, and your feet slip on the gravel between the tracks. You fall against the rail, and you can feel and see your fate speeding towards you. OMG! I have a bad feeling about this.

Standing on a beach on a crystal clear sunny day watching the water rush out to sea, rush out, rush out, rush out, rush so far out you can no longer see it, not something you see every day, you think. You look up to see a tsunami rolling in towards you, a sky scraper of water lost in the blue sky because of its distance away. If I can see it and it is that far away, how big must it be, as your eyes focus and the massive energy, seemingly, emanating from it. I have a bad feeling about this.

Opening the cockpit door to see both pilots comatose at the controls and a mountain directly in front of the plane… We must be in Switzerland, you think. I was only looking for the toilet, I must have taken a wrong... the mountain is approaching rapidly. I have a bad feeling about this.

A man with a black bandanna with white Arabic writing on it comes through your back door with a long, what looks like sharp, knife in his hand... I have a bad feeling about this... you are thinking, when he laughs and pulls off his head dress. It is your neighbour, Habib, grinning like a Cheshire. "You should have seen the look on your face, buddy." Habib puts the knife down on the counter.

"I borrowed this from you, and I am now returning it," Habib was smiling. "I've just been to jujitsu training." He laughed again. "I wondered if the outfit would freak you out?"

"Fuck OFF!" Incredulous.

"That was priceless." When Habib really laughs, he has what sounds like a high pitched hiccup in the middle. It is adorable.

"You thought the brothers had finally arrived with the jihad. Maate!" Habib can now do a tone perfect Aussie accent.

"Fuuuuuck off." Don't give me the shits.

"You thought you were getting taken over." When Habib smiles, he is hot. "You gotta stop watching so much news, bro, it will rot your mind."

"I didn't know what the fuck to think." You didn't. "All I saw was some fucken guy with a knife. It could have been any mother fucker. An Arab with a knife, how safe were you feeling, mate?” you said. “If I'd called the cops, they would have shot you dead maate."

"Fuck off," said Habib. He smiled again. He'd amused himself.

"Malakas."